Since I was little, I never wanted to marry, never wanted children, never wanted a standard job, never cared for a house. Even now that I am an adult, I still care for none of those things. Since I was little, I wanted more than anything to travel space-- not merely to mid-orbit or within the solar system, but rather interstellar travel. But the world seems so confining and so competitive. Even in college, I only took an engineering major due to its relation to space as well as its income. It has not proven too difficult or necessary repulsive, but it just seems boring. In fact, every occupation or traditional way of life seems dull to me. The most miserable experience I could imagine is going another 80 years in a dull life.

The "little things" have never made me content. Every day is just more boredom after the next. When I was little, people would always say that it was just a "phase" and that once I got older that I would settle for a regular life, but there is nothing which makes me more miserable. I intend to travel in the future, sure. But even if I explored the entire earth, it is still far below even my remote dream of interstellar travel. The only thing that I do even enjoy out of life are stories. Every single day, all I commit to are looking through stories and stories, but compared to the actual experience, it is still miserable. So then what do I do? There is nothing else that I want out of life. Everything else seems shallow and uninteresting to me.

Even the simpleness of modern cloths and modern architecture make me feel downright awful. One of the few styles that I do truly love, the Victorian era (which I am referring to strictly the style, not the government or economy of that period) died out quite a long time ago. It seems like everyone that I love is literally out of reach, is fictional, or has simply died out.