Definitely not easy to give it up. I keep weighing the pros and cons and dang it, I don't want to admit defeat. I'm already a failure to my immediate and extended family, I don't want to be a bigger disappointment. I don't want to face another six months of unemployment living on savings and getting berated every day if I quit without a job lined up. And a part of me really doesn't want to let go of the service I render in this job.