Dear T,

Get ready for the Spanish inquisition. What were you doing there, right there? OK, that's obvious you were having a drink with your daughter, but why there? Not that I mind, I don't think. What were you drinking? Did you see me? I saw you. Did you notice that I ignored you? You walked right past my house, I have no idea how I feel about that. I don't think I feel anything. Do you drink there at other times? I don't think that you do because you said that you don't often come up my end of the village. Will you go back there again? I wish I could go out with you like that. I bet you had a lovely walk and talk. I wish that I had someone to do that with. Maybe I do, but it just will never be the same as a Mother Daughter thing. That should be special, in my mind. That can't be replicated. I wish you would adopt me and be my Mother, in a grown up way. My Mum never even saw my house. You have seen more of my life now than she will. I know that is obvious, but you have also seen more of my life than my Mum ever did. Honestly, I feel nothing. What did you feel if you saw me. Were you ignoring me too? I would have looked up and smiled and said hello if you had been on your own but I did not want to see your daughter's face. I don't think I wanted to see the two of you together, even though I already had. I know I get the best bits of you and right now, that is the only way that this will work, but what about the future? I wish I could get into your head and get an honest answer about what you think about the future. But, maybe you don't know either. Let's just keep going how we are for now, hey, because we are doing some very good work right now. See you tomorrow T, and I have no idea whether I will bring this up. I think I possibly will, because it will feel in the way if I don't, though I really don't think that I will tell you or ask you all of this!!!