Sadly in many ways anorexia is passive suicide in its own way...end result if not controlled is the same. Sad to feel that way. Is weight the only reason for feeling this way? Are you dealing with depression issues also? Do you have a good T you can talk through your feelings with? ....My MD would only trest HEALTH issues connected with the anorexia, not the mental health issues. That was the job of T & pdoc....hope you can get through this & get some good help.