I was made to feel really embarrassed today. It was a small incident, but for some reason I always take these things to heart and just wanna cry.

I was apart of a spoonie cosplay group and I thought it was a support group so I would share my successes and stressors with the group to help gain some advice and support. However, on several occasions I was asked how did this apply to disability or cosplay and today I asked a crafting question for a sewing project I wanted to do, and because it didn't have anything to do with cosplay, it was outright deleted and the admins messaged me both and said my posts lacked relevance to cosplay and being a spoonie. I was made to feel by both messangers that because I didn't have a chronic illness (physical) that what I wasn't saying wasn't relevant. I ended up leaving the group as, while saying it was a support group, it didn't offer any support or helpfulness to its members for mental illness.

I just have a really hard time connecting with people and for some reason, no one really wants to pursue being a friend with me. And when I do make a new friend, they turn out to be abusive and toxic. I guess I'm just not an interesting person. I'm okay with having a few friends, I just wish I could make some friends at school so I would stop feeling so afraid at school.

Anyway, I know it is a small incident but I just felt really embarrassed and was kinda tipped off I was being talked about which makes me feel even more humiliated and this just added onto the fact that I was already feeling like crap.

If you can spare a few hugs, only if you want to, that would be very appreciated.