Thanks for your input everyone. I have never been on a locked wards and the ones here are publicly funded and terrifying. People get assaulted regularly on these wards so i do all I can to avoid them but if i don't calm down I will be getting sent there.

At the moment the closest observations are every 30 minutes. So,yeh, not very safe. On a locked ward I could have much observations all the way up to one of one where they literally watch you pee (sorry tmi, I know). I guess I will find out if I don't calm down in the next few days.

My doc said he's not threatening me with it but cannot keep me safe her if i stay so impulsive, irritable and serious SI. I which case I would be transferred. Maybe the other hospital is to so bad. Basically, he is trying to keep me alive. Will see how today goes (it is 4.40am her and see my doctor tonight.

Problem is that my doc is going on leave for a week over easter so I will be stuck with the on on-call doctor. So a locked ward will be decided in by a doctor I do not know or trust, but my pdoc did tele the on-call doc was trustworthy and and great doctor.

Right now I feel wild and impulsive but somewhat happy for some reason. Hey, at least I am happy.