That is not possible. Self-esteem can be a matter of quality, but never a matter of quantity. Therefore, here is your esteem-of-self:

I would guess some arrogant, egotistical, self-deluded person in your past used to (and maybe still does) boast about his or her alleged greatness...and there is where you got the fruitless notion of being your own judge, jury and executioner.

You are as worthy of breath as anyone, and your healing in the area of self-esteem can begin just as soon as you stop trying to declare your own worth.