Thanks for the welcome, everyone!

To answer your question, still_crazy, I am actually very extraverted. Sometimes the only thing that helps me break out of one of these moods is spending time with others. I often feel at those times that I am forcing myself to "perform" at least, and that can help. However, that has its limits as well because there are other times when I feel like being around others makes things worse; if I feel too low to even "perform", then I end up acting so differently around people than I usually do, and it makes me feel bad about myself.

Like...usually, I'll act (sometimes genuinely, sometimes not) as very outgoing, positive, eccentric, and funny. But if I can't muster that persona, I can become quiet, withdrawn, serious, and blank. And I really hate acting like that around people.

Also, about the diagnosis thing, well...I just really want to pursue the right treatment, and bipolar disorder is treated so differently than uni-polar depression or OCD, etc, etc. I'm terrified of taking lithium though. I've heard so many horrible things. So unless I really and truly am diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I'll avoid lithium like the plague. But if I do really have it and need to take it? I'll try.