Hi Krow, thank you for sharing your story. And yeah, this is not an easy question. It can feel painul to see your dream so impossible to be realised. I don't know what to say..But what I admire here is your commitment and pouring your energy into learning about all this, exploring. I think this is so inspiring.
I don't know though what the future can bring, but I believe that you don't need 80 years to wait to be in a state of flow and experience moments of great passion and inspiration. It might be even interstellar travel. We define our universe and life and everything in this linear way where in the present moment we see our past and future only possibly defined in relation with our present moment, based on what we believe now, how we see the world now. And we live in this experience of linear continuity. But what if that's an illusion? Looking from that perspective, life is not so limiting anymore.
In the same time, exploring what is in the present and what we can have now and enjoy now, seems to bring contentment usually. But sometimes one needs a more zoomed out perspective..
Hope this made sense, no worries if not. Dissappointment is painful feeling and sorry you are experiencing it now