I don't know how helpful this is but: is it possible your T is just fallible? I remember you saying that he is the best one that you have had, but maybe he is just making mistakes? And these mistakes have led to your therapy becoming a re-enactment of your childhood rather than a healing relationship? I think that a therapist needs to be really accepting of all parts of us, particularly when we are being spontaneous or are asking for things. Your T has not been able to do this. I think that when we are in therapy we can have a tendency to look within us to try to improve the therapy or to find where it went wrong, but sometimes the problem is within the therapist. But we so want them to be perfect, it's hard to accept. Sometimes what we need from them feels so obvious to us, maybe they can't somehow trust that there are times when we know what we need and we can guide our own therapy.

I've been thinking of having a conversation with my new T along the lines of this: 'during the time that I was seeing the other two therapists, I gradually felt worse and worse in the relationship, can we talk now about what we might do if that happens again while I'm seeing you.' My thoughts are that maybe we could get creative in our thinking about doing something completely different in the session to take me away from the re-enactment. I'm wondering if what happened to me in my therapies is similar to what has happened to you? You are somehow now feeling worse within your relationship and are just stuck there. And your therapist has blocked your attempts to do something about it, as my ex-T's did?