I am glad you are doing better. Last time I was IP, my room was right next to the emergency exit and that door mocked me every time I looked at it. I wanted out of there and thought I might be able to make a run for it but knew it would prolong my stay. A very manic guy was stalking me and I felt sure he was planning some type of attack so it was so hard to fight the urge to run. I'm sorry you felt You didn't feel cared for, that must have hurt. I really hope things are on a stabilizing trend for you. Happy birthday to your nephew....watch out for the teen years!!!