I'm sorry for making everyone worry. I am a mess right now and will reach out to my doctor tomorrow to schedule an appointment. I took too many OTC sleep meds, mixed with seroquel and Ativan and it didn't mix well with my already very low but agitated mood. It's very hard for me to admit I'm not ok....it's very hard for me to reach out and ask for help. I feel like I SHOULD be able to handle all this on my own, but I obviously can't. I'm so embarrassed and sorry. I'm so ashamed for being needy and not being able to handle my own chit. I don't want to die but some part of me does not care about that fact and wants to kill me. I'm dealing with so much in my life right now and I feel my threads of sanity are fraying swiftly. Please forgive me. Thank you to everyone who showed me kindness and support. I've been crying reading this thread. You made me feel cared for and I can't tell you how much I needed that right now. I want to get better so badly....to not be so sick and in so much pain all the time. I really feel like a lost cause and I really don't trust that anyone can help me. I hope that something changes for me in that regard. XOXO