I am glad that I made the untalkable, talk able. Thank you for your patience. It doesn't change how I see you. I am glad that you were able/are able to give your love to another generation. That is a wonderful thing to do. I wish that my Mum could have done this for me, of course I do, and it makes me sad that I will never have this. But that is a necessary sadness, I think.

Thank you for answering my questions and recognising that they came from a place that needed to be settled. I understand that most people know you as blank, though I will be truthful and say that I find that a bit surprising. Maybe most people don't care. I don't know. Maybe most people have too much going on in their own lives to worry about things like that, or maybe most people wouldn't like to ask. Maybe most people aren't so 'involved in the relationship'. Whatever, I am lucky to have you and your willingness to consider opening up to me, because it wouldn't work if you didn't, I don't think. As I said before, I would get hung up on 'us' and your withholding, rather than allowing it to be out there and moving on to what really matters.

When you said you think you were trying to protect me, that was nice. I understand. I know the answer, I think. You see your children a lot, I imagine. You love them and they love you and that is OK with me. Am I jealous, maybe, in a small way, but I wouldn't call it jealousy or envy, more a sad acceptance of what was never destined to be mine.

I am going to ask you something by email and I have no idea what you will think of the idea. I don't really know what I think of the idea, so maybe we could talk about it one day. I have often wondered if it would be a possibility. It would make things like that easier, I think.

I love you T, I wonder if you know that.