My session yesterday was a big anxiety dump. Do you ever do that? It didn't make me feel better at all. (Should it have?)All this anxiety about X, Y, and Z just came pouring out. A lot of financial stuff related to the divorce. And I am having personal problems getting along with one of our team members. Sigh. And it is really important I get along with this guy and communicate well with him! This is a source of a lot of anxiety on top of the regular anxiety about the divorce and my husband. I feel bad for not managing my anxiety better and having it overflow like that in session. I feel incompetent. I feel like the last few weeks we've been having to deal with all of this family stuff in therapy, and sure that is important, and sometimes you have to follow a linear track to get things done. And we did. It was worthwhile and very valuable. But all this other stuff has just been building up and needed some outlet. I feel embarrassed by dumping all that in session. There were echoes of paranoia there. I needed T's reassurance on a certain point, and instead his answer worried me. It was kind of wishy washy and not what I had hoped to hear. But he has a lot of expertise on this, and I wonder is he just not giving me the straight answer because he knows it is not what I am hoping to hear and he is worried he will upset me? I would rather have certainty even if it is not what I want to hear. I need to know how things are.

I am feeling really down today. And my daughter seems depressed. I don't know how to help her. I take her to school in the morning and she doesn't even go to class. She hangs out in the halls or hides in the bathroom and then comes home at the end of the day. Maybe she will go to 1 or 2 classes but she just skips the ones she doesn't want to go to. How can I get her to go to class? I need to be strong and not be anxious and paranoid and down. My kids need me. I'm not handling all these responsibilities well at all.

I guess this post is just more dumping. Thanks for letting it be here.