I couldn't read till the end of ur paragraph but I read enough points and honestly you're not alone in this there are many people who will love you and comfort you around here. the way you described your parents literally took me back to my childhood and yeah same goes for me I didn't really feel it so much when I was younger but it affects me more and more as I grow older and I grow even more and more scared when I ambout with someone and there are a bunch of men with us because I can never forgive the people who've molested me since i was as young as i can remember and i hope you will find a way to cope with this <3