The man's drinking has nothing to do with the wife. No one else's thoughts, words, or behavior are responsible for our own "problems." The MAN would be the one doing the therapy to stop his drinking, if that's what he wanted. The woman can do the therapy to solve her own problems but her husband and his drinking aren't one of them :-)

If you can't find the underlying problem to work on then it's much harder to do anything about any symptoms. Take SI; that's not the problem, the reasons/underlying "need" to SI is what has to be looked at and addressed. If one can't figure out how to address it and/or one keeps working on the SI behavior, then one has to fight one's self/body to stop the chemically addicting SI and that's an uphill battle. But if one doesn't "need" to SI anymore because you are okay underneath, you get bored/pissed off at the SI and it gets to be more a "habit" that kind of drops away gradually and your body readjusts.

Symptoms HELP us and are not the enemy. I respect mine and use them for me rather than fight against them too.