Hi Hzrt. Welcome to Psych Central. I am so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. It must be so difficult to experience the death of someone so close for the first time.

Grief in my experience is not something that happens and is over. It can take a long time for the feelings to bubble up when I am ready to allow that to happen. It is normal that your grieving is unique and you will find feelings coming up when you are ready to allow them to happen. Bottling up the feelings is a natural defense mechanism until we feel we are in a safe place to grieve.

Talking out the feelings with friends, relatives and support groups has helped me. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We are all different.

There are many articles in Psych Central archives that talk about how to cope with grief. Scroll down and there are many links here. https://psychcentral.com/grief/

This one helps me understand the stages I am going through at various times of the day.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-s...oss-and-grief/

This one talks how grief can affect us physically also.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/your-health-and-grief/

Hope you get the support you are looking for at Psych Central and consider professional counseling or therapy if needed.

Sad hugs to you in your hour of grieving.