Dear Sweet Dragon,
It is ok to talk about the thoughts and how you are trying to fight them. It isn't ok to say "Hey people I am really going to do it this time and this is how I am going to do it." I am saying this to keep the parameters clear and to let you know that you can come here and try to work your way out of this hole. (however if you are in danger at this moment get help immediately!) Please tell me more so I can understand better. What is the perspective of the people at school. How do they beat your body up? Also you are not a retard because you want some dumb...uh donkey...to back off out of your space. I know of very few people who like people hovering when they are trying to create something. It totally messes up the creative flow.
Carrie