Thank you, Bebop, Saluki, and Spal....
I feel kind of ashamed for posting this thread. I know I'm exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. I worked at my teaching job today, and felt tired and achy, kept myself wrapped in my shawl from chills.
I think where I am now, having experienced the demise of both my parents to cancer, is feeling a spiritual void. I've tried to do it "on my own" for so many years, thinking rationally and even scientifically.
In the end, my failures don't mean much, and I apologize for wallowing here.
Love to all of you,
Patty