It's okay to be depressed and angry. And you didn't bore me either, I like to read stories (when my mind works haha)
And I think it's also good to realise what you love and don't love.

I think what might be the most frustrating is the contrast, between what you feel inside about what matters and then looking around you and seeing something completely different.

So then there is this conflict. Am I crazy, are they crazy. They (some) seem happy and content. But some are not. Still, nothing is changing and the pressure is high to conform.

I guess, there is no answer here...I'd advertise self love (still do) but I'm not practicing it a lot myself lately.
So, what you have is self awareness, know what you love, and try not to forget it, maybe? Even though it might happen in the darkest moments, and that's okay too.