Keeping your relationship offline is one thing, being someone's dirty little secret is a whole other kettle of fish.
My bf and I have kept our relationship off SM, mainly due to privacy (we went to HS together so lots of busy body mutual friends is one reason)the other being SM is just a huge gateway to ruining romance ... I would definitely have a huge problem with being a secret though.. His friends and family all know who / what I am.

The bedroom issues could just be that he's quite a selfish lover, and that can be worked on, but the rest of what you describe?

No thank you.

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck....