As long as you have something comforting, then that's what truly matters. I am so sorry about what happened to your fiance. I felt similar when my best friend (pretty much my sister) passed away, and I felt I was going crazy and entered a disastrous rebound relationship as well as it triggering an episode.

It's great that you have little reminders that you shared together, although reminders can be painful. Unfortunately, medication cannot fix the grief issues. I was in therapy, but it only helped to an extent. This all takes time. Loss is one of the hardest parts of life, and with Bipolar in the mix, it's very, very challenging. I think something that is helpful to many is connecting with their loved one in a new, meaningful way. That takes time too.