I feel much like you do, alot of the time...

I have discovered that if I put a few eggs in a few different baskets, then my needs or at least some of them are met, at least some of the time.

What I mean by that is, I will speak about loneliness or depression with my bf, and he gets it and is willing to listen and be compassionate... Then I speak anxiety and loser to my bff and she gets it and is willing to listen, I speak stress and responsibility to my cousin, and Bipolar stuff to my closest online friend etc...

This way I'm not whining all the time, and nobody's basket is overflowing with my shyt...

This mostly works, except I'm not very good at reaching out, and for some reason that neither therapy nor inflection has figured out, I still feel and believe that nobody truly understands and I feel really alone on this planet.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been dealing with these painful challenges, and hope you can find a way to improve and feel better. From my own journey toward self discovery, I believe that lack of self worth is a good place to start.