It's not good :-) Welcome to PsychCentral (PC), lilyorbit.

I retreated into a fantasy world when I was a pre-teen and didn't "get out" until I was in my 30's and not totally free until my 40's. Find someone to talk to, that you can trust and get along with is my advice. It took me 10 years, all of my 20's before I found the first person I'd ever connected to in my life. From then on it was an uphill battle but well worth it. Break out of your isolation any way you can; it's a trap.