So yesterday I saw this pdoc I saw before, but I didn't like her. Again, I didn't like her. I explained to her how I've been experiencing depression symptoms (or what I feel is depression). And she told me that I am like this because I went off my anti-depressant and that my depression is only "situational", meaning if my life was perfect (pretty much, like doing well in school, have friends, etc.) then I wouldn't be depressed and the only way I actually have depression is if I go on another anti-depressant and am still depressed. I explained to her how my marks in school are suffering (ie would be failing calculus if my math teacher wasn't as nice as she is (to me)) because I lack motivation to work, am always tired, am asleep, and can't concentrate because I'm thinking depressing thoughts. And I am extremely lonely but she said that it's because I have social anxiety and autism that I'm lonely, which I have some degree of loneliness because of these, but I have been fine overall the last year. I feel even lonelier than normal now. I have wanted to withdrawal, but because I know depression, I force myself to try to interact with people to be less lonely.

I just needed to rant. I don't know why, but I feel the anti-depressant I am on now (the one that worked, but I went off, then went back on it) is making me not being able to cry. So I can't really blow off emotions other than ranting. I'm just frustrated with this person. She put me on Luvox, which I'll start tonight (hopefully).

Thanks if you read it.