"And I began to envy the headlights driving south
I wanna crack the door so I can just fall out
But then I remember when you packed my car
You reached in the back and buckled up your heart
For me to drive away with"

-TØP, 'a Car, a Torch, a Death'.

The heart in the back belongs to my fiance. I can't end myself without most likely damaging his heart. He means more to me than anyone else. And then you add in others I've made relationships with. People irl and people on here. A lot of hearts reside inside my car, I think. I want to give up but the hearts won't let me.

Honestly, I feel like I'm having a brief moment of lucidity and clarity. I've been having bad episodes everyday, several times a day. I don't know what will happen next; hey, at least my life's not boring. I can promise that in the next 24 hours I can pledge to stay as safe as my sanity will allow.

And thanks for this thread, Fuzzy.