Hello somerandomusername: I believe this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I'm sorry you are feeling so desperate. Hoefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support.

You know... one of the things that happens, when a person begins to feel suicidal, is that their focus begins to narrow to the point where they can see fewer & fewer options. Suicidal thinking is nothing to mess around with. Suicide creates a wave of despair & regret that echoes down through the years. And it gives everyone who was close to the person who is gone permission to do the same thing. I believe the reason you posted this, here on PC, is because there is still a part of you that has hope & wants to live. Please reach out, in real life, for the help you need.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!