art T,

group session yesterday was ok. I felt fine - most of the time. That's more than I expected really.

But: I hated the moment when at the end you asked everyone how they are feeling now. And then you questioned my response when I said "ok". you asked "just ok"? I "gave in" and said something along the lines that I feel really good. And then I immediately added: But not any longer. Because I was 'forced' to state that I feel good... It just burst out of me. And quite aggressively so.

And now I'm stuck with all the ambiguity that goes with it. On one hand I know that this is huge. I noticed in the moment (and not hours or days afterwards) that something feels wrong to me and I did something about it. (Which ironically makes me feel good now that I'm thinking about it...)

And yet I'm feeling guilty. I lashed out at you, quite aggressively so. I feel the need to check with you that this was 'ok'. That I won't be 'punished' for this. I'm sure you can cope with it, it's me who needs some reassurance...

And, of course, now it's easter break coming up, so I have to wait until the end of the month until I can ask you about all this. UGH!