Welcome to the forums, Chibee Elf!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChibeeElf
Have you ever had the feeling that your whole world is spinning out of your hands and all you can do is watch as your life goes out of control?
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I'm relating to this part big time, although the situation is different.
When it comes to input from others, I very often find that they see shifts that I do not (yet, at least) recognize as a shift. For instance, I'll think I'm feeling pretty average only to have it pointed out to me that (for instance) I'm talking really fast and am like a conversational bulldozer, lol. I'd say that if these folks traditionally have looked out for your best interests, it's worth listening to. Even if it doesn't feel like they currently are. Actually,
especially if it feels they are being currently unfounded about it.
They've even got a big word -- anosognosia -- for lack of insight, which is something we BPers tend to have. Puts a whole new spin on hindsight being 20/20. In the moment it can be SO hard to see(!) Not saying that's happening necessarily, but if you're hearing it from multiple people who care about you, it's worth considering.
I'm very sorry about your fiancé.
I don't think people would think you didn't truly love her to be with someone else. Truly. I'm guessing there are societal time parameters(??), but you are not expected to go monk forevermore. The timing is yours to work out emotionally, but I just hate to think of you burdened by thinking people would think badly of it.
Who is your purple dragon friend? A plushie?