I understand what you are saying. I wish there were words that I could give you for comfort, but I struggle with this myself.

I'm coming to accept it for what it is and not freak out, that was just my reaction. That was until I started sorting everything out. Now, it's not so foreign and scary to me. For me, it seems to be emotional triggers that I try to fit the pieces together for.

Sometimes that works. Other times, I just try to go with it and know that I'm ok.

(((Understanding hug))) if that's ok.