Quote:
Originally Posted by childofchaos831
I think it changes each time... sometimes, I need the pain to feel real. It's like it reminds me I have a body. Sometimes I use sh to calm things down when every nerve in my body feels like it is in lvl 10 emergency mode. Sometimes I use it because I feel weak or I think I did something wrong and I deserve it (not true). The sh can do a lot of things for me, that part of why it's so hard to stop.
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I can relate to this. Although I seem to have the tendency to SH under control at the moment, when I was engaging in it, there seemed to be no 1 reason, just an overehelming urge when I was struggling. Sometimes it felt quite intimate, just me alone with my body...not sure if that makes sense?