I am 42 and was diagnosed with BPD about 4 year ago. My previous problems have been getting into the wrong relationships with great girls but totally not the right fit. I was clingy, totally emotionally engrossed in them. Break ups were caused total downward spirals. Fast forward to know. I haven't been in a true relationship that I actually identified it bf/gf until I was diagnosed. My current girlfriend is truely a great girl. She is gorgeous, goes to church with me every Sunday which I have never had. All in all I could definitely see my myself marrying. Never felt that ever In my life.

Now giving the traits of BPD and being really heavily involved emotional, I am totally the opposite! Not emotionally connected. I feel if we broke up it wouldnt bother me at all. It's affected the relationship finally after 4 months. She is emotionally invested and really into me. She said she doesn't feel the same from me which is true and valid.

Has anyone experienced this side? I can't make sense of it other than being crushed and hitting rock bottom from the past relationships that I am protecting myself from very dark times in my life.