I called my husband today and he actually answered the phone. We had not spoken since last Tuesday when he was so mean to me and told me he wants the divorce.

I asked how he was doing, he asked how I was doing, he asked me how I am doing in school. He told me how tired he is from all the driving he's had to do this week with work. We casually talked for a few minutes and then the divorce talk started. He told me his attorney filed the papers on Monday. I immediately started crying. I told him I still love him so much and he said the same. He told me this is not easy for him despite what I may think. I asked if he is dating and he said, "absolutely not" and I believe him. I asked him if I should just start dating and he said, "if thats what you want to do, then yes". I was devastated. I knew he would answer that way though. It was just a morbid curiousity I had. I was hoping that he would say he didnt want me to or that he would mention the fact that we had both agreed that we would not date until our divorce was final. Again, he told me how much he loves me and misses me. He told me that all he does in sit in front of the television every night with the dog and how lonely it is. But, he said he has no interest in being with anyone and that he is enjoying himself alone.

He was actually pretty nice during our conversation. I was pleasantly surprised. I cried and it was very hard, but I am glad I got to talk to him even if he is still insisting on the divorce.

Two hours later I called him back and asked him if he would be willing to go to a counseling session with me. As soon as he answered the phone this time he was very harsh. I heard a different man on the line than earlier. I asked about the counseling and he said, "NO". His tone of voice was mean and sarcastic. This was not my husband. I had just talked to him a few hours earlier and he was nice to me. Nice for the first time in weeks. And now, only a short two hours later, he is back to being the other husband. The mean husband.

I swear my husband had BPD.....or MPD. Whatever. I don't even know. I called his mother. I gave her his pdocs phone number and she is going to call him. Something else is going on with him besides the bi-polar. Definitely something else. He needs an intervention. Not just because of his decision to divorce me. Thats small compared to whats going on in his head. I am honestly worried about my husband.

God help him.