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Old Apr 13, 2017, 09:56 AM
sunnydisposition sunnydisposition is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: India
Posts: 515
Quote:
Originally Posted by subtle lights View Post
Yeah, I guess it can be good in limited amounts, but right now I cannot work anymore or do anything without constantly hearing the shouting in my head of how incompetent I am. It's transformed now into an automatic violent angry outburst against myself every time I might make a mistake. Or even when not.
you know i used to write too. it used to feel like i was communicating with the universe. it was like a stream of this indescribable energy that' id suddenly had found access to, have infiltrated my senses and this surge of unknown, unfamiliar feelings, that didn't exist before, have suddenly came to life out of the dark dead corners of mind and i can feel them so intensely, like for the first time every cell of my body is in synch and is trying to commune with this unknown entity that has awoken inside me, until i cant take it anymore and then i'd let go, let this thing take over me, and thats when the words, would appear and start stringing together like little beads of pearls, scratching and clawing under my skin, wanting, demanding to be let out. And id write and write until i had nothing left to write and thats when i felt it, that euphoric bliss. It was like every word that left me, left an empty space in its place, and by the time the last word left, my mind would become an empty space. No thoughts. Just peace.

I havent felt connected to universe, or whatever it was ever since i got mentally sick. Depression and anxiety took the best thing i had in my life. My reprieve. I miss it so very much. Reading your threads, felt incredible, it stirred that dormant passion inside me that i had completely forgotten about. Thank you for that. You didn't let mental illness take away your ability to express. its inspiring to me.

Last edited by sunnydisposition; Apr 13, 2017 at 10:14 AM.
Hugs from:
subtle lights