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Old Apr 13, 2017, 12:27 PM
kecanoe kecanoe is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,052
Quote:
Originally Posted by subtle lights View Post
I want this to work, to be open with my T. I've been having some insights about my issues but I feel he doesn't care. I keep telling him that I had so much to say, until the second I'm in his office, then my mind just goes blank and I can't open my mouth.I mean I can but it's not what I wanted to say, or noy like that. He says that maybe it's not so relevant for me then, that's why it doesn't come.
But it's also my HUGE fears of embarrasment.

He triggers me somehow and I get always angry there at one point. My feelings change towards him a lot in a single session. But other people don't trigger me like that, or they do but not with that intensity.

Maybe the fact that he triggers me a lot shows that there is something to explore? I constantly feel he doesn't get me but lately I'm ulta-sensitive to any remote sign of rejection also with others. Still, I feel like I'm not doig something right.
I don't really have the option now to switch to another T, plus I hate endings.
I'm in a very vulnerable phase right now, and I feel I need more support somehow...
The bit about maybe it's not so relevant for you would annoy me. It seems like he doesn't get what you are saying.

It seems like you are struggling a lot, your volatile feelings toward him in session, your sensitivity to rejection. Can you tell him that part and see what happens?
Thanks for this!
subtle lights