Sadly I did actually have to stop talking to a person I love because I was/am too unstable to be there for them.

I've always been overly selfless and done things for others that I really had no emotional energy to do, and in this situation, I got way in over my head, got attached pretty quickly (we knew each other for about half a year) and promised things I could not keep because I cared so much and really gave it my all.

As a result I ended up hurting that person a lot, which was never my intention. I think of the person all the time, but unlike here at PC (where I can support others when I feel mentally capable and not log on for even months at a time if I feel too unstable to) I just can't consistently emotionally support a close friend who is in as much need of it as I am right now, and that makes me feel pretty crappy.

I'm trying to take care of myself and focus on myself for once but without that self security, I feel so lost.

As for the way I am, I often wonder whether it's the abuse or whether I am fundamentally flawed as a person.