Hi misinfinity:
I think that your husband is suffering from some sort of psychotic breakdown myself. I use to call my mom's condition the jeckyl/hyde syndrome. For lack of better knowledge.
He's sweet one minute, and a raging volcano the next. Is it possible he is also suffering from PTSD? Alot of veterans came home with that over the Vietnam War. It might even be from all the rest of them as well. Was he a veteran at one time? Did he serve overseas?
If not, then I would try some sort of intervention with a specialist there as he could become quite combative and hurt someone. You do not want to trigger that reaction...I assure you!!
If he says " no", then back off as you may bite off more than you can chew. Since I don't have a full picture of his background of mental health, it would be hard for me to try to tell you what's wrong with him. That takes a pdoc. Right now he's in total " denial"........and there's nothing you can do about that.
You can't change him. My step-father had my mother wrapped around his little finger.....she was his love slave....
and she just ate it up. It made me want to puke!!! I knew he
was yanking her chain........he was like that too. Sweet as cherries, but bad to the bone the next minute. I use to think he was BORN that way. He could throw her down a flight of stairs, refuse her medical treatment, and she'd be back in his arms the next night. I wanted to kill that bastard.....I hated him. She loved him. Please don't put your boy through that. Don't make him live in YOUR mistakes. It will do more harm then good in the long run. Protect him so he doesn't ever doubt your love for him. Nothing is worth the loss of your child. No matter how it hurts!!!