I definitely get very reactive when close to a person.

When I'm not close to a person, I'm quite calm and collected. I don't express my anger much (if at all, really), or negativity.

Those who ARE close to me know that I can become the very opposite of calm. I get angry and irritable over nothing. I say very impulsive things that I wouldn't dare say to someone I'm not close to.

I'm doing my best to work on it. It greatly fuels my self-hatred.

The last thing I want to do is get angry/have outbursts around or at those I love, but it seems that being close to a person simultaneously brings out the best and worst of me.