If the main motivation for getting married was hiding, and you pretty sure you intend to come out once your parents kick the bucket... What do you suspect your husband's reaction would be?

If your coming out means the disintegration of your marriage, don't you think your husband deserves a heads up instead of being blindsided? Don't you think he deserves a opportunity to find someone who actually wants to spend the rest of her life with him?

I get not wanting to be disowned, who'd want that anyway, but if my parents' love was based on the condition that I am heterosexual then I don't need that kind of "love"... I would want to surround myself with people who accept and love me for me.

Don't you want that for yourself?

PS. I would be pretty pissed off if my bf told me years into our relationship that he's gay and had known for a while, I'd feel betrayed and used, and yes I would think him selfish for wasting my time.