Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden
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But when I got this thought about the hug not being mutual it felt degrading. That I hug without no form of mutuality. I understand it and my counselor hasnīt done anything, itīs just that if I donīt show Iīm about to give her a hug she wonīt initiate it. Thatīs kind of standard, at least here in Sweden, a kind of "therapeutic conduct".
But now I feel sad, it feels in some way dirty (not in an erotic way) to hug someone who doesnīt hug back on the same premises. My counselor doesnīt need my hug, sheīs married and has friends and that makes this thought even worse. She hugs me in some kind of "charity act" and it feels deeply sad.
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I started to put "Hugs" on your post because I wanted to comfort you, but then thought better about it. Maybe that's how she feels, she's happy to try to comfort or welcome you if you would like it? I would have gladly given you a hug, even though I don't feel the need for one myself right now, but in your post you were sad and I felt a need from withing me to want to comfort you. Sometimes hugs are simple gestures that help relieve sadness a little, but it sounds like it just reminds you, instead, how sad you are.
I was thinking about you today and when Skies wrote about maybe you felt alienated, not just lonely, and how that is really for me such a good word to describe what I and maybe a lot of other people, especially with mental health issues, feel. And it is very, very sad.
But does that have to be "degrading"? It doesn't seem that way to me.