My fiance David and I are going thru a separation right now and I'm confused why. He's a 37 year old Veteran. He was in Force Recon and he had to do some nasty things while serving under that unit. He's only told me alittle and wont tell me the rest. He's very anger and he seems like he can shut off his emotions like a switch. He's bipolar, clinically depressed, and has PTSD. With all these diagnoses, I still love him because that doesnt describe David. But recently, he's hot and cold. He was recently denied for all of his disabilities from the Federal level down. I told him I would be there for him thru this and if there was anyway I can help I would. But he got cold - he says he loves me and is in love with me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He doesnt take off his ring that he brought for us and I just remember the vow he wanted to make over the Torah pledging our love to each other. He tells that I'm his God-sent love. And next he says I'll do my thing and you'll do your thing and when I feel better we'll continue. I feel shut out and I found out he was talking to people online and actually told me his psychiatrist told him that it's better to talk to strangers than your loved ones. I looked at his profile online and noted that the pics he posted are of him when he was younger and now wondering is what he is doing to put up false image of himself and wants to have a pity party and not face the anger and what's going on in reality. Upon of it all, he lives with his parents who fight every other week. So with all of this he's hot and cold and I've tried to reach out to him and tell how I feel but he just gets defensive and says mean things. I've mentioned couple counseling and he just changes the subject. I basically told him - I feel like he's deployed and that's he's shutting me out. I'm trying to understand - I'm 33 and I'm a full time worker and grad student and I recently started therapy because I thought it was all my fault per David's words and that I'm sick because I felt overwhelmed with all that's going on with us and my lifeload. My therapist has told after several sessions that I'm not "sick" but it's good that I'm unloading all of my load instead of keeping it in. What do I do? How can i reach out to David? How can we heal together?