Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael W. Harris
I am angry also. I have read all the books on dissociative disorders. I also put myself in the Charter Hospital in Plano, Texas just so I could talk to patients who had a dissociative disorder and most of them had been diagnosed with DID. Not one of the mental health professionals that I paid since 1992 did this simple research to help me. As an engineer, I find this totally incompetent or corrupt.
I have a milder case of dissociative disorder. My case exhibits more like memory problems than extreme differences in personalities. My loved ones cannot tell the difference in personalities. All I needed was a competent mental health professional like Dr. Colin Ross, who understood the mental illness and help to stabilize me. I would still be a semi-functional human. Because of my childhood I will never be normal but with the support of someone like Dr. Ross I would have been able to maintain. But since 1992 I have not gotten to anyone who can help me. Eventually I had a total mental breakdown.
I feel the isolation that you feel. People seem to hate me but if they had witnessed what my family members did to me during my early childhood they would understand.
I understand your frustration completely!
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I had a breakdown, too. Really, really sucks. May be getting better, but then the rage comes in -- it's not totally switched off anymore -- and I can't be a very likeable person when I'm grumpy and angry inside. I fake it as best I can, and have the cognitive control to keep the anger not expressing itself, and have learned a lot in the last year by venting here on PC.
I was a software engineer, math and science background, so to me it's incomprehensible, too, that the therapists don't do their own research, especially getting feedback from clients, so they know better where they failed. Instead, they mostly take that kind of feedback as a personal attack. And, of course, when the client is angry, there is an element of personal attack there, too. But if they don't/can't listen, then how can they learn? But maybe they don't see themselves in the business of learning, just "caring". As an engineer, that just don't compute!!
How are you doing now? Are you re-joining the world in some ways? That's mostly what I'm trying to work on now, but it's really, really tough.