I have wanted to post this, why I am not sure. Prolly cause I was sad about it.
Because this time of year is hard on My Family. ANd I so much do not want anymore pain to happen in our family
But life is not like that. "I am rammbling"
Because all of our parents have passed on. My cousin and I have become sorta like the head of the family. SO to speak. As there always was a head figure. If you understand that one. LOL
We thought this year we were safe. As his childs wife was pregnet and a few more kids as we call them. Dam I feel old. "By the way him and I are to young to be the heads"
Of the family, we keeping looking for manul. Sorry if I do not joke then i cry. "we are only in our fortys. Ok on with story.....
Weds before Thanksgiving his daughter in law lost the baby. "we have lost everyone around holidays" He was so upset he sent it in a e mail. I was reading e mail out load to my sister and got to that part and was like OMG not again.
Its ok he told me that way as I understand. Hes lost so much too. Now his grandson.
So i called him.........we talked as we always do. And knew each one was sad. But then he said he had more bad news, At this point I would have liked to put my hands over my ears. But I did noT. I listened.
My other cousin who is in Iraq has Cholera........and that all we know. Well except 40 of the troops have it.
So here we sit , him and I and wait......and pray awhole lot.
I have 2 cousins over there. They are both near each other . So my worry is for our whole family.
And just how my cousin and I will hold everyone up , god forbid something happens.
Him and I think are held together by super glue. We just keeping telling everyone in the family it will be ok. Like they believe us.

If the trigger i con did not come up can someone put it there, DO not want to upset anyone, Just needed to write it out. So i can keep pretending it will be ok ty

forgot to put i have PTSD from lossing so many ppl