Maybe I'm different than a lot of people, but I am NOT at all into "hugging". I might hug a family member if they approach me with arms open, but it isn't something comfortable or comforting to me . . . personally.

That said, if you're the one who initiates the hug in your therapy situation, why do you find it humiliating or uncomfortable? It's something you're seeking and that's fine. Therapy is for all of us to be able to EXPRESS our needs and wants. But it's also fine for the T to let us know if our wants or needs are out of synch with their wants and needs. Notice that I say that a T needs to let us know what is out of synch with their own wants and needs. I say that because what WE want in ANY relationship isn't what we're going to get. Sometimes the person that we're engaging with isn't "into" what we want or need--AND YES, that includes wants and needs with a prostitute (sorry if I've offended anyone). It doesn't matter who we are, we all get to assert ourselves in a relationship . .. and that includes people we engage with in a PAID relationship, ala, therapy/therapist!

If the T refused to hug or just stood inside your hug limply, I might be inclined to agree with you that a hug is uncomfortable or unpleasant, but it is that person/therapist's right. I might not stay with that T because I might see her as unresponsive or cold. But that's my choice. If the T hugs me back but never initiates a hug or seems genuinely uncomfortable with the hug (ie. she steps away quickly or doesn't return the hug), I might be uneasy myself and I'd have to decide whether or not I'd continue with the T. But if I offer a hug and the person steps into the hug or accepts it readily, I wouldn't be bothered. Afterall, I'm the one (ME) who wants or needs the hug. No intimate act in a relationship is EVER totally even in regard to need or want. That's the nature of human relationships. It teaches us about the pain, vulnerability and hurt in any relationship. We don't always get what we want . . . even when we pay!

But if your counselor "hugs" you back, what's wrong with her not being joyous or overly encouraging about the whole hugging routine? What's so terrible if she isn't as over joyed or excited about the hug? No intimate or physical relationship, in any duo, is going to be equal. There is always going to be someone in the duo who gets more out of the relationship, and the other one is going to be on the lesser side. It is what it is. If you spend your entire life MEASURING out what you get or the other person is getting in the relationship, you are going to miss out on the fun and joy. Might not be how you look at relationships, but as someone who has spent a lifetime vigilantly trying to add up or subtract what is going on in a relationship and NOT paying attention to the fun, joy, impulsiveness, creativity and just plain love in the interaction, I can sincerely say you're going to spend your life in sadness and anguish.