Not sure I have an answer for you, but felt the need to respond. A few years ago people around me decided I was an alcoholic. I never agreed with this and I'm not sure I ever will. A problem drinker, maybe, alcoholic no.

I reached out for help because I was so suicidal and instead got sent to rehab. It was not what I needed at that time, as a result I got no better. And it made me angry. And actually made things a whole lot worse.

I think, although our circumstances are different, if you are not ready to accept hospitalisation for alcohol and whatever mental health issues you may be struggling with then you probably shouldn't go for it. It will focus on your addiction (from my experience).

If you think you can accept and work with it thenby all means go for it. But it is hard when you don't believe you should be there...