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Originally Posted by peaches100
PS - I apologize for the long rant. I'm not trying to hijack this thread or necessarily asking for advice back. I just wanted to share my problem with "boundaries."
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thanks for sharing this peaches. i could have written this exact same thing, and if your T wasn't female, i would swear we had the same exact T. i even had the very same conversation with my ex-T about email responses that you have had with yours and he even gave the same exact responses that your T has. i eventually started to feel as if my T was trying to manipulate me (and the transference) when it came to my reaction to his lack of response to my emails (especially in times when i was struggling). at that point, i decided i was not going to let him manipulate me anymore and i stopped reaching out to my T in emails or in texts.
similar to what Budfox said:
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As someone said, therapy relationships can amplify abusive or neglectful dynamics. Someone also referred to the "covert sadism" of therapy. Playing games with inconsistent email responses is rather sadistic.
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this is how i was starting to feel that therapy was becoming for me. it felt as if my T was playing games with me to manipulate the transference that i brought to therapy and the T relationship. i did not like feeling that my T was f#$%'n with my head just because he could not respond to me consistently. i never understood what i was suppose to take from that and in the end it just felt sadistic, similar to my past experiences, then trans-formative.
in my opinion, Ts that do this to clients who suffer from an unsecured childhood attachment are completly missing the boat and it becomes more harmful than helpful.