Oh, T,

I had emotionally prepared myself for your text this morning, but I wasn't prepared for you to ask to reschedule. It took effort to reply, as opposed to the thumbs up emoji that I had waiting. I don't want to move my appointment up. I don't want to see you at all. I don't think I want to work with you anymore.

But I know why I feel this way. It's easier to distance myself now, when you're finally seeing the real me. I can distance myself as opposed to you rejecting me. Because you're no different than anyone else. If I didn't pay you to hold me in unconditional positive regard, you wouldn't. You would leave like everyone else. I mean, you ARE going to leave me. So why should I continue this charade when I know it's only going to destroy me in December? What am I even getting out of therapy? More pain and heartache.

But despite knowing that every time I walk into your office, I set myself up for suffering, I'll see you at 11 instead of 12.

Thank you by the way for saying thank you. It's nice to know that you respect the little free time that I have.