Mood has really crashed this week, I know I've been a bit lax with my AD's and have been drinking too much... but that's because I don't feel like there's any point. Ending my life seems a rational choice to me, even if not to anyone else.

I was on my own for much of the time yesterday, would have been a perfect chance to phone Sams or CALL helpline, but I'd got to the point where I was so low, I couldn't actually speak to anyone... How stupid is that...? I suppose because I know that no one else can make things better, so what is the sense in just making myself feel worse...?