One of the reasons I drank and smoked weed or other drugs is because when I'm sober I feel so strange.
So its like, Why not? Atleast There will be a reason to the strange feelings while intoxicated.

Sigh

So I sit here sober, Trying to avoid the trance that will consume me.
It's heavy, a depressing aspect of my existence.

When one wants simply no more than to just exist, but without the capability to be.

I am.

Sober.