Oi. Time to estrange yourself from your mother. She sounds very overbearing and I wonder if she has some narcissistic traits too.

The issue is that your mother wants to control your life despite the fact that you are an adult, married with a child of your own. Your mother has terrible boundaries and she wants to keep her boundaries with you enmeshed, so she can know your business 24/7 which is very dysfunctional. She may be miserable with herself in her own life, and thinks that by controlling your life, that will bring her joy again. My aunt is like that. She meddles in all of her adult childrens' lives to the point where 2 of her children have permanently estranged themselves from her, because she can't take "no," for an answer.

This isn't just an issue between your mother and your wife. This is an issue that involves your entire family.

I would highly advise total estrangement for now, from your mother; that means that you need to change your cellphone numbers, change banks, block her from your social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc.).

Yes, that sounds drastic but believe me sometimes drastic measures are necessary when people invade our boundaries and refuse to stop doing it, even when the other party tells them to stop.

If you want to resume contact with your mother, give yourself at least a 3 to 6 month break from any contact with her. She may threaten you and your wife in some way, but it's just a bluff, to make you succumb to her overbearing will. I have watched this scenario play out both ways (either estrangement, or continued enmeshment with no change or improvement) in real life and on talk advice shows.

But, if estrangement is not possible, then you still need to block your mother from your life in ways where she can't interfere with you, your wife, or your child's life.